WOW! My 5th Step!

09.29.08

I'm thinking now would be a good time to walk the awareness wheel ;-)!

Deep breath, close my eyes, letting my surroundings fade out of my focus.

I'm sensing my heart is racing a little, I'm cold and kind of shaky, tears in my eyes, my stomach is a little nauseated. I am feeling sad, happy, proud, encouraged, lighter. I am feeling a sense of freedom that I haven't felt in a long time, if ever.

I am thinking that was scary (doing my 5th step...admitting to myself, God and another the exact nature of my wrongs). I know I needed to do all of this work. I think its crazy how I though I could just turn my addiction off.

I am wanting to keep working these steps. I want to be a strong support and success story to share with people who think its impossible. I want to completely be free from the corrections system.

My actions are to keep doing my steps. Keep doing my 12 step meetings with my friends. I am going to use positive talk about myself. I am giving my self permission to love and forgive myself for my wrong doings so I can fully heal , so that I can grow into so much more.

I can never go back to the young woman I was before my drug addiction. Today I can be so much more. I am not my past. I am my future. My future is what I want. what I want is serenity, love, peace and happiness!